Character Interview: Geralt and Dandelion

Be sure to read our previous character interview with Geralt before you read on!

(knock at the door)

Didi (busy typing): Come in.

Dandelion: Excuse me... Are you Didi?

Didi: Yes... (turns around) Oh! Well, umm, hi there. Was I supposed to be interviewing you today? (rummages through a bunch of notes on the desk) I can't seem to find...

Dandelion: Oh, no. Actually, I came to deliver a message.

Didi (raises an eyebrow): Oh?

(Dandelion grabs his lute, clears his throat and starts singing)

Dandelion: Forgive the moment of clumsiness in the middle of my heroic bout; It wasn't done on purpose and I apologize for knocking you out.

Didi (trying hard not to laugh at the horrible poem and not so great singing): Well... that was certainly... (snorts) a-hem, interesting.

Dandelion: And these are for you. (hands her a half-squished bouquet of daisies) I'm sorry for the way they look, but I sort of slipped on the ice outside and fell on them.

Didi: That's Canadian winter for you. That and I forgot to salt the driveway... So I take it these are from someone else, seeing as the concussion wasn't your fault.

Dandelion: Right. (makes a subtle head nod towards the door) It's his fault for showing off... as usual.

Geralt (peeks in): Greetings.

Didi: Great... (rolls eyes) I guess this is where I hide my guitar controllers.

Geralt: Well, I thought maybe you could get a real interview to make up for the...

Didi (visibly irritated): Headaches? Hospital visit? Broken whammy bar?

Geralt: I was going to say failed attempt, but that works too...

Dandelion: Let's just all calm down and have a little chat, ok? How does that sound?

Didi: Fine. But no screwing around. Have a seat. (grabs a notepad and a pen) So where were we anyway?

Geralt: I asked you out.

Didi: Other than that...

Geralt: Rock Band?

Didi: Oh no, we're definitely not playing Rock Band.

Dandelion: Guitar Hero? Can't be so different from my lute.

Didi: No one is touching my guitars. And how do you even know about Guitar Hero?

Dandelion (smiling proudly): Research. Bards must always be informed about a number of things. And the box is right there...

Didi: Ok, well, if you really want to play a game, you can try this... (hands each a Wii-mote and Nunchuk, puts on Wii Boxing) It's like fist fighting, with these controllers. You just punch (throws a few punches) and those little guys on the screen move... see?

(the phone rings)

Didi: Hello? Hi mom, one sec. (turns to the guys) I'll be right back. You guys have fun.

Dandelion (looking at the controllers suspiciously): I don't get it.

Geralt: Well, I guess you just punch... (goes for Dandelion with a left hook and socks him in the eye with the Nunchuk)

Dandelion: Hey! I wasn't ready for that.

Geralt (smirking): Well, come on then, bard... Give me your best shot.

(Didi comes back to find them actually punching the crap out of each other with the controllers)

Didi: What the hell are you guys doing?

Dandelion (clearly having too much fun): Fist fighting, obviously.

Didi: (takes the controllers away) You're not actually supposed to hit each other...

Geralt: What fun is that, then?

Didi: Oh, forget it... It's never fun for you unless someone gets hurt, right? Anyway, I have a few questions, so let's just get to that.

Geralt: Alright.

(everyone takes a seat)

Didi: How is that memory of yours, anyway? Is there a point me even asking anything?

Geralt: I remember some things. Dandelion has helped with that, he pretty much keeps a record of what I do in the form of poems and ballads.

Didi: Ok, so maybe we start from the beginning... How did you end up in Kaer Morhen in the first place?

(Geralt barely has time to open his mouth when Dandelion interrupts)

Dandelion: Oh, that's a good one. It's a bit of a riddle, see... He was taken from his home because he was what his father didn't expect to find on his return. Can you say "marked by destiny"? (nudges Didi with his elbow) Anyway, that's what Mousesack says, but who can trust a druid with a name like that?

Didi: (writing it down) I see... So no happy childhood, that explains a lot.

Dandelion: Not if you call being practically poisoned over and over during the trials a "happy childhood".

Geralt (to Dandelion): I can answer, you know.

Didi: And how did the two of you meet anyway? I can't believe how different you are, yet you get along so well.

(Geralt goes to speak but is interrupted by Dandelion yet again)

Dandelion: Funny story, really. There was this girl in Gulet...

Geralt (speaking really fast): ...that you got pregnant and were trying to run away from her four angry brothers, so you tagged along with me.

Didi: (giggling while taking notes) Bards are popular, I suppose.

Dandelion (nudging Geralt): Hey. Aren't you forgetting something?

Geralt: No, not really, you just haven't given me the chance to talk. (turns to Didi) I brought something for you... (looks around in his satchel) I made it, it's perfume. (hands her a little crystal vial containing a pink cloudy liquid)

Didi: Really? I have a little collection of perfumes. How nice! (opens the vial, smells it and makes a weird face) Hm... it certainly is unusual. (sniffs again trying to recognize the smell) What's it made of?

Geralt (smirking): Some alchemical bases, a mix of flowers...

Didi (dizzy): All of a sudden I don't feel so well...

Geralt: ... and sedative herbs.

Didi (totally disoriented): Uhh... creative verbs? What? Is it time for class already?

Dandelion: Wow... I think you put in a bit too much.

Didi (starts giggling stupidly at Dandelion): Hi. You're cute. And your friend is pretty hot.

Dandelion (amused): Definitely too much...

Geralt: Well, at least she seems much nicer now.

Dandelion: That is, until she comes to her senses again...

Geralt: She'll be fine. Give me a hand.

Dandelion: I think I'll write a ballad about this, it's just too funny to pass up.

(Didi rambles incoherently as she's taken away)


- Several hours later -


Geralt: Are we awake yet?

Didi (mumbling and stretching): Do I have to get up? I don't have class until 6... (opens eyes and looks around to see a bunch of trees, a very dark sky and lots of fog) Ah, crap!

Geralt (cheerfully): Greetings!

Didi (furious): Greetings, my ass! What the **** did you do now? Where the **** am I? And what the **** was in that vial?

Geralt: Tsc, tsc. Such unbefitting language... If you really must know, it was a sedative, and this is the swamp.

Didi: The... what?! How the hell did I get here?

Geralt (jokingly): Well, first we carried you. Then the horse did...

Didi (gives him one of those "if looks could kill" eyes): That's not what I meant...

Geralt (smiles): I thought we could go out for dinner.

Didi: Well, we certainly are... (looks around) out.

Geralt: See? It's really not so bad. I even got you this drowner repelent ribbon. (ties a little red ribbon to her wrist) And here, this sword is for you.

Didi (sarcastically): How thoughtful. And why would I need a sword?

Geralt: It's catch-your-own night. (takes a panicking Didi by the arm into the muddy darkness) Come on, it'll be fun.